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It is near the end of the school year. The teacher hasturned in her grades.
There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because there is nothing
to do and it is near the end of the day.
The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave
early today." Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart
and will answer the question".
The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four score and seven years ago'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln".
The teacher said, "That's right Susie. You can go". Johnny was MAD.
Susie had answered first. The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I have a dream'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King".
The teacher said, "That's right Mary. You can go". Johnny was even MADDER than before.
Mary had answered first. The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your
country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy".
The teacher said, "That's right Nancy. You can go". Johnny was BOILING MAD.
Nancy had answered first.
Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these bitches would
keep their mouths shut".
The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny said, "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"

It was the first day in school and a teacher was going to play a guessing
game.She passed out different items to each of the students and proceeded to
ask each student what item they received.
When it Little Johnny's turn, the teacher gave him a candy kiss.
She asked, "Do you know what it is?"
Johnny replied "No."
The teacher said, Go ahead and open it up and taste it. Little Johnny did
so. The teacher then asked, "Now do you know what it is?"
Little Johnny said "Nooooo."
The teacher said, I'll give you a hint...it is something your daddy wants
from your mommy every morning before he goes to work.
A little girl in the back of the class jumps up and screams, "JOHNNY, SPIT IT
OUT......... IT'S A PIECE OF ASS."

Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it.
He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said that since
Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to
bring him. If he cussed he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the
gift.
Two days before Christmas Johnny's dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny
said, "I want a goddamned teddy-bear laying right fuckin here beside me when
I wake-up Christmas morning. Then, when I go downstairs, I wantto see a
motherfuckin' train going around the goddamned tree, and when I go outside I
want to see a red-assed fuckin' bike leaning up against the damn garage!"
Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of
dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog shit around
the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge
pile of dog shit by the garage. When he walked back inside with a curious
look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, "So Johnny, what did Santa bring
you this year?" Johnny replied, "I think I got a goddamned dog but I can't
find the son of a bitch.